Friday, March 30, 2007

He's Mr. Short-Term Memory

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He's Mr. Short-Term Memory (23 comments )

The president made it clear Wednesday that he's going to veto either one of the military spending bills passed by Congress this week, even though he later said that Congress hasn't passed a spending bill -- and if they don't, "the American people will know who to hold responsible." Yes. Damn that Congress for not passing military spending bills which they passed already. Two versions. Wait? Did Congress pass a bill? Whoa. Hang on. I just realized something. We're all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively*. Most excellent.

Then the president said, "Some of them believe that by delaying funding for our troops, they can force me to accept restrictions on our commanders." They're delaying funding. I see. They're delaying funding and passing funding at the same time (two versions!), and while they're delaying funding and simultaneously passing funding in some kind of nausea-inducing acid trip distortion of the space-time continuum, the president says he'll veto the funding which they've already passed.

bush-short-term-mem.jpgYou know who President Bush is? He's Mr. Short-Term Memory.

Mr. Short-Term Memory.
He shouldn't have stood under that pear tree.
Now there's just no remedy.
He'll frustrate you so,
But he'll never know.
Because he's Mr. Short-Term Memory.

THE PRESIDENT: Hey, alright! The Congress passed funding for the troops. I'm going to veto it.
SPEAKER PELOSI: Take a deep breath, Mr. Pres--
THE PRESIDENT: (Looking suddenly uncomfortable) Congress isn't passing funding for the troops?! No funding for the troops from Congress! The Democrat [sic] Congress hates the troops!
SPEAKER PELOSI: Mr. President, the House and Senate each passed--
THE PRESIDENT: Hey, alright! Funding for the troops but with benchmarks for withdrawal. I'm going to veto this.
SPEAKER PELOSI: Whoa. I can taste music. Most excellent.
THE PRESIDENT: Where's the funding for the troops? If you don't pass funding, the American people will hold you responsible!

But hey alright, I see what the president is doing here. When he finally does veto the bill, his awesome political machine -- a machine which has been whittled down to two guys: Karl Rove and Sean Hannity -- will swing into action and lie to the American people by claiming that Congress never voted to fund the troops when, of course, they clearly have.

The truly delusional aspect of all of this is that the president and Mr. Rove continue to cling to the notion that most Americans will actually buy their tired and hackish political schemes; the same scheming that brought us, "I've never been stay the course," and, "No-one anticipated the breech of the levees." For the remaining 28-percent of the population who still supports the president, lines like that continue to work. I haven't bothered to watch Hannity lately, but I'd be willing to bet he's uttered the phrase, "Why do the Democrats hate the troops by refusing to pass a $120 billion spending bill, Mr. Coulter?"

And when it comes down to the 2008 general election, the president and Karl Rove will count on the rest of us to be Mr. and Ms. Short-Term Memory with an onslaught of campaign commercials accusing the Democrats of failing to fund the soldiers in Iraq. Never mind that the president, by that time, will have vetoed that and many other Democratic Iraq spending bills.

But for the president and the GOP, an important detail like a presidential veto is irrelevant when it's all twisted into a Möbius Loop of confusing, inexplicable and contradictory statements; statements which are cynically designed to shape the debate regardless of the facts. It's always been the Bush/Rove way. It's this same political strategy which allows the president to make political statements about war funding while instructing the Democrats, as he did Wednesday, to "stop making political statements."

Hey alright! I can taste music.

UPDATE: Thursday, March 29. It's also worth mentioning this quote from the president during Wednesday's tirade: "Here's the bottom line: The House and Senate bills have too much pork..." Mr. Short-Term Memory strikes again. How quickly he forgets something called The Bridge to Freakin' Nowhere! And hey alright, here he is signing the bill that included the $223 million Bridge To Freakin' Nowhere:



Not the face of a man who cares deeply about reducing pork barrel spending. (And yes, that's Senator Obama on the right. Yeah, I know.) Oh and hey alright! The bill he's signing above? $286 billion. Mostly pork. The military spending bills passed by the House and Senate this week? $120 billion. And sing along...

He'll frustrate you so,
But he'll never know.
Because he's Mr. Short-Term Memory!

*Nod to the late Bill Hicks for the greatest trip line ever.

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