My nephew sent this to me, knowing the movie fan that I am. I hope you will enjoy these rules as much as I did..............PEACE..................Scott
Charles Brineman’s Movie Rules 101
The next time your man rent’s a movie that you just don’t get use this advice to help you
Dead for Sure, No Doubt About It
In a movie, the absolute proof of the death of a character is when blood drips slowly from the corner of the mouth. This is in too many movies to document. An interesting variation was the dripping of liquid metal from the evil mutant's mouth in "X-Men 2." As a physician, I can tell you that blood coming from the mouth after a fight is either, 1) a sign of a communication of the esophagus with a major blood vessel, which would be fatal, or 2) a cut in the mouth, which would not be.
The Tweener is, in horror movies, that creepy character introduced at the beginning of the movie who seemingly lives between two worlds: The “normal” world of the main characters and the dark, creepy world of the cannibalistic or sadistic family, clan or tribe. The Tweener either warns the main characters to beware of a certain road or area, or directs them into the path of horror by offering a shortcut. Either way, the Tweener will later take part in the cruel maiming of the main characters. Often appearing as a gas station attendant, the Tweener can be seen in such movies as “The Devil’s Rejects,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “The Hills Have Eyes” remake.
Whenever the hero in a movie says "If I'm not back in 5/10/15 minutes, get out of here/blow the whole thing up/call the cops," etc., he will be late. But his companions will ignore his instructions and wait until the hero (who is always wounded) returns. There is a 20 percent chance that they will go out to look for him and also get wounded.
Whenever the fate of the world is on the line, governments turn to that lone scientist whose ideas and theories, once shunned as ludicrous, now become the last hope to save humanity.
The firearm counterpart to the Snicker-Snack Effect. Whenever a character is holding a gun and waves it for emphasis, regardless of whether the character actually cocks the gun, or if the gun even has a hammer to cock, it makes a cocking noise.
Corrected Bullet Velocity Rule
In the Bullet Velocity Rule, the equation should go as follows: HBS=RBS/IC*
* -- Hollywood Bullet Speed equals Real Bullet Speed divided by (not "times") the importance of character, where the more important the character, the higher the number. That way, the more important the character, the slower the bullet will be, and the easier to jump out of the way.
I know it's ridiculous for a grown man who is a director of a nonprofit and a teacher to spend time correcting this, but I love the Little Movie Glossary and want it to be perfect.
A phenomenon in which actors begin in comedies and progress to serious drama. In modern times, the shift was pioneered by Tom Hanks ("Bachelor Party" to "Saving Private Ryan") and followed by actors like Jim Carrey ("Ace Ventura" to "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"), Robin Williams ("Popeye" to "One Hour Photo"), Jamie Foxx ("Booty Call" to "Ray") and, recently, Will Ferrell (from "Roxbury" to "Winter Passing" [opening Friday]).
Velocity repudiation rule Movie characters in most genres can fall as far as 100 feet before grabbing a loose pipe; their hands never lose a grip and their arms are never ripped off by the sheer force.
Waterfall Immunity Rule When a hero fleeing for his life jumps into a huge and menacing waterfall, the bad guys assume he's dead and walk away. But lo and behold, he survives! (See "Last of the Mohicans," "The Fugitive" and "Collateral Damage.")
Human-Absorption Bus Rule
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Whenever one character is looking at another from across the street, if a bus or truck passes between them, it will invariably make the other one disappear, possibly into another dimension.
Good Dog, Bad Dog Every werewolf movie must have at least one scene in which a friendly dog contrasts with the werewolf. The good dog may meet a grisly end at the hands of a werewolf (as with the doomed pooches in "Ginger Snaps 1 and 2"), or it may become greatly agitated by the person who will become the werewolf (the little terrier on the sidewalk in "An American Werewolf in London"), or it may just be there to remind us that dogs usually are our friend (the farmhouse border collie in "Dog Soldiers").
Forehead Target Rule When a character is shot in the head, the bullet will impact the victim precisely between the eyes, and a trickle of blood will indicate that it is, indeed, a bullet wound.
Explosion? Oh, that explosion
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To show he is grizzled or cynical, a character will walk toward the camera as an explosion happens in the background. He doesn't flinch while everyone in the background runs and screams. Examples: Robert Duvall in "Apocalypse Now"; Jake Gyllenhaal in "Jarhead"; George Clooney in "Syriana."
Don't shoot the piano player
In movies, whenever a person asks a pianist whether he or she knows a tune, the answer is always a nod, followed immediately by the opening notes.
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