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This is a classic video about the ongoing sex toy battles in my fine home state of Texas.
Well, I celebrated the new-found legality of female masturbation in the state of Texas. One should never underestimate the lengths to which wingnuts will go to control female sexuality. The Texas AG Greg Abbott, who apparently has nothing better to do than to separate women from their dildos, has asked the 5th Circuit Court to rehear the sex toy case.
I'm trying to imagine the mindset of a man who doesn't realize that when you try to take dildos away from women, basically everyone with a brain and/or a sense of humor is going to assume it's because you're afraid you can't handle the competition.
But I am routinely assured by commenters here, at other feminist blogs, and at RH Reality Check that the opposition is not in this because they are misogynists that fear female sexuality or control freaks who can't stand the idea of someone else having fun. No, they are in this to save the unborn babies. Opposition to the birth control pill and emergency contraception is about making sure that no microscopic babies that look remarkably more like formless balls of cells rather than infants get accidentally flushed by hormones. Nothing whatsoever to do with female sexuality, no siree. It's all babies.
I realize it's hard to see how a woman masturbating with a dildo is a secret form of abortion. But we promise, this is about the babies and life and stuff. You see, dildos are just so big, and if you stick one up yourself and you've got a fertilized egg banging around in there and don't know it, you could just jostle the little fella and knock him right out. Or at least give the little guy quite a scare. There's no such threat coming from the average wingnut penis, so no need to ban those.
Sure, you people with your science and stuff might think that it's impossible to scare a brainless ball of cells, but you have to understand that the good lord provides little angels for an embryo, so they can have all the feelings of fear and prayerfulness and resentment of women's liberation that the unborn feel until they've developed brains and Sunday school training in these major feelings of their own.
So this is completely, 100% about babies. No misogyny, control issues, or wariness of female sexuality has any part to play in this.
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