THE GHOSTS ON THE PLATFORM

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SAM SMITH, THE IDLER, 1965 - Senator Gaylord Nelson was in the midst of
a campaign speech last fall when he suddenly halted. He looked out at
his audience and announced: "Ladies and gentlemen. This is the first
time either you or I have heard this speech and, frankly, I don't agree
with it." He finished his address speaking off-the-cuff. The occasion
brought a rare moment of truth to the nation's speaking platforms. For
here, unnoticed by the press, a public official had confessed to having
been duped by a member of a sinister elite: he had been reading words
handed to him moments before mounting the stage written not by himself,
but by a ghostwriter.

Not even the Central Intelligence Agency is as secret and powerful an
organization as the society of ghost-writers. Yet like CIA agents,
ghost- writers have proliferated in recent years, their actions, number,
and appropriations unchecked by a joint congressional committee or any
other board of review, until today they sit at thousands of typewriters
behind thousands of unmarked doors, making inarticulate men articulate,
and forcing senators to say things they don't believe.

Like an agent of the CIA, a ghostwriter often works under a cover. He is
labeled an "administrative assistant" or "staff aide," but whatever his
title, his job is to spew forth an endless stream of verbiage upon the
American scene. In his candid book, Congress, the Sapless Branch,
Senator Joseph Clark revealed the extent to which words are sown amongst
the good citizens of his state under his signature, words which he may
never have seen. Clark admitted he decided early in his senatorial
career that he would have to give his staff assistants "virtually
complete responsibility for processing the mail." Clark's mail, like
that of many other legislators is answered in large part by robotypers.
The Pennsylvania senator rhapsodized about these machines: "Robo
machines are semi-automated electric typewriters which will type a form
letter at the press of a button. There is a newer, more expensive model
which is fully automated. The robos will produce hundreds of perfectly
typed letters in an afternoon: the super-robos will produce thousands of
letters all night, while the staff and Senator sleep! And the beauty of
it is that only a real expert can tell a robotyped letter and signature
from one personally dictated and signed." Then the Senator went on to
describe the ultimate in deceptive devices - the autopen, a $1200
contraption that simulates signatures. Clark has three forged signatures
that he uses: "Most answers get the formal 'Joseph S. Clark.'
Politicians who are not intimate get 'Joe Clark.' Friends get 'Joe' as
do a fair number who are not friends but call me 'Joe' when they write."


(Before being too critical of Clark we must consider the ironic and
interesting possibility that the comments on ghostwriting machines
quoted above may have themselves been ghostwritten and that the senator
may never have seen them before they were published under his name.)

Senator Clark's wonderful writing machines and the growth of the
ghostwriting as a profession are evidence of widespread acceptance of a
strange theory that the complexities of modern life make it necessary
for public figures to say more than they can compose themselves. In
fact, it is even believed in some circles that it is better if the
public figure composes nothing at all and merely reads what is given
him. Thus the news report on a new speech-writing office in the Navy
Department which included the rather scornful note that "Now speech
writing, even on the higher levels, is a sort of 'do-it-yourself'
project."

Those who write their own stuff are (as a ghostwriter might phrase it
over at the Pentagon) becoming virtually obsoleted. Under such
circumstances, it is not surprising that George Murphy should win a seat
in the U.S. Senate or Ronald Reagan run for governor of California. They
are the ghostwriter's ideal, actors who have learned to be pliant
performers of someone else's words. We strongly suspect, in fact, that
if the Republican Party fails to recover from its present afflictions it
will be replaced by Actor's Equity. It is argued that someone as busy as
the President must employ a staff of ghostwriters in order to keep up
with his verbal commitments. Yet is Mr. Johnson any busier than Winston
Churchill was at the height of the Second World War? Churchill,
according to the reports we have read, spent hours sweating over his
speeches, grooming them to perfection. Somehow, amidst the V-2's and the
invasion plans, he found time to prepare his own words.

We will, however, concede that there are some valid reasons for the
President, speaking as the whole government, to employ ghostwriters. But
do senators, representatives, Air Force generals, bank presidents, ball
players, police chiefs, bishops, United Fund chairmen and Girl Scout
leaders have the same need? Hardly. If they are presented the choice
between hiring someone to compose their speeches or articles and not
speaking or writing, let them keep silent. We would all be the better
for it. Congress would function more smoothly. Businessmen would not
suffer indigestion from attending too many bad public dinners.

Further, we would be able to vote for political candidates as they
really are, unvarnished by the efforts of a anonymous group of scribes.
As things stand, we have no assurance that a candidate, once in office,
will keep the same speech-writer used in the campaign and so we likewise
have no assurance that we will continue to get what we paid for at the
polls.

It might be possible to abolish the profession of ghostwriting
altogether if a Federal law against plagiarism were passed. Our
legislators could, if they had trouble drafting the measure, check with
any of our higher institutions of learning for model academic codes
dealing with this problem.

But we realize this isn't too practical and so offer a typical
legislative compromise - a labeling bill. Under it, speakers and authors
would be forced to disclose the true origin of their material and the
names of ghostwriters would be listed with those of their candidates on
all ballots. It's going to be tough to get even this measure through.
The ghostwriters will work overtime churning out speeches in opposition
to it. But if we win, a glorious silence will descend upon the land.
Public figures will say no more than is within themselves and they will
learn what Lincoln discovered some time ago: that if you have something
to say, you can write a pretty good speech on the back of an envelope
all by yourself.

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