CORPORADOS

CORPORATE TRESPASSING: CBS TO TURN YOUR EGGS INTO ADS

[A good reason not to shop at A&P or, at least, to open every egg carton
before you buy it]

DAVID S. JOACHIM, NY TIMES - In September, CBS plans to start using a
new place to advertise its fall television lineup: your breakfast. The
network plans to announce today that it will place laser imprints of its
trademark eye insignia, as well as logos for some of its shows, on eggs
- 35 million of them in September and October. CBS's copywriters are
referring to the medium as "egg-vertising," hinting at the wordplay they
have in store. Some of their planned slogans: "CSI" ("Crack the Case on
CBS"); "The Amazing Race" ("Scramble to Win on CBS"); and "Shark"
("Hard-Boiled Drama."). Variations on the ad for its Monday night lineup
of comedy shows include "Shelling Out Laughs," "Funny Side Up" and
"Leave the Yolks to Us.". . .

Egg Fusion, which was founded in 2001, started production last year with
one egg company, Radlo Foods, which has since produced 30 million Born
Free brand farm-raised eggs with etching. In May, EggFusion landed its
first large grocery chain, A.& P., which will use the imprints on
400,000 America's Choice conventional eggs sold each day in A.& P.,
Waldbaum's, Food Emporium and Super Fresh stores from Connecticut to
Maryland. . .

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/17/business/media/17adco.html?ei=5090&en=
9aa212bf4667079a&ex=1310788800&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=print


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MORE REASONS NOT TO BUY CORPORATE CDs

ERIC BANGEMAN, ARSTECHNICA - An Oklahoma mother, Debbie Foster, was
accused by the RIAA of copyright infringement back in November 2004, and
her daughter Amanda was added to the complaint in July 2005. According
to the RIAA, the Internet account paid for by Debbie Foster was used for
file sharing, with an unspecified number of songs downloaded.

The music group offered to settle the case for $5,000, but Foster
decided to take her chances in court. She requested that the RIAA
provide specifics such as the dates of the alleged downloading and the
files involved. The RIAA failed to provide the requested information and
Foster filed a motion for summary judgment. In turn, the RIAA decided to
cut its losses and asked the court to withdraw its case. The court
approved the RIAA's request, but named Foster the winner and awarded her
attorneys fees over the RIAA's objections. . .

Debbie Foster is not the only mother to stand up to the RIAA. A
42-year-old disabled, single mother from Oregon, Tanya Anderson, is
currently fighting the RIAA's file-sharing allegations. She denies
downloading hip-hop over Kazaa and decided to fight back after being
contacted by the Settlement Support Center. There is also the case of
Patricia Santangelo, a divorced mother of five living in New York. Her
case is currently headed for trial in the US District Court of the
Southern District of New York, after a motion to dismiss was denied.

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20060713-7257.html

ARSTECHNICA, 2003 - The RIAA withdraws a lawsuit filed against a
66-year-old sculptor accused of sharing gangsta rap. Not only does she
not listen to rap, she cannot even run Kazaa since she has a Macintosh.
The RIAA issued a statement indicating that while they were withdrawing
the suit for the time being, they would "reserve the right to refile the
complaint against Mrs. Ward if and when circumstances warrant." Yes,
just in case she buys a PC, installs Kazaa, acquires a taste for
hip-hop, and decides to start sharing files.

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20030924-2868.html

ARSTECHNICA, 2005 - A suit filed recently in US District Court named
83-year-old Gertrude Walton as a defendant, accusing her of serving up
over 700 songs onto peer-to-peer networks. Now, the RIAA has gone after
grandmothers before. In 2003, they mistakenly targeted a 66-year-old
woman for allegedly sharing gangsta rap. But this case goes a bit
further, as Mrs. Walton actually passed away in December 2004.

Perhaps granny was dishing out illicit mp3s prior to her demise. Not so,
says her daughter Robin Chianumba, who says her mother didn't want PCs
in the house, and had absolutely zero experience operating them.

A few months after the legal campaign began, the RIAA decided to begin
sending letters to suspected file traders prior to filing suit, in an
attempt to get them to settle outside the legal system ("you pay us some
money and we make this little problem go away"). By doing so, they hoped
to avoid making stupid mistakes such as this one.

However, when Chianumba received such a letter from the trade group, she
sent back a copy of her mother's death certificate in hopes of
dissuading them from going ahead with the suit. . .

A Recording Industry Association of America spokesman said Thursday that
Walton was likely not the smittenedkitten it's searching for

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20050204-4587.html

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WAL-MART ON THE PROWL FOR REALLY DUMB TEENS

MYA FRAZIER, AD AGE - It's a quasi-social-networking site for teens
designed to allow them to "express their individuality," yet it screens
all content, tells parents their kids have joined and forbids users to
e-mail one another. Oh, and it calls users "hubsters" -- a twist on
hipsters that proves just how painfully uncool it is to try to be cool.
The Hub is where teens can go and register to become 'Hubsters' --
Wal-Mart's ideal of a hipster.

Desperate to appeal to teens with something other than pencils and
backpacks during the crucial back-to-school season, Wal-Mart is
launching a highly sanitized, controlled and rather unhip site at
walmart.com/schoolyourway.

Teens are invited to create their own page, "show it to the world and
win some fab prizes," including a chance to have their videos appear in
a Wal-Mart TV commercial. Wal-Mart's agency is GSD&M, Austin, Texas.

The opening page shows video of four teens -- a bubbly fashionista, a
Texas football player, a quirky skateboarder and an aspiring R&B singer
from New York -- who are clearly actors reading a script, although the
videos are positioned to appear authentic. Within, there are pages such
as "Beth's Backyard Club," where you find a picture of her in a
strapless prom dress above the approved quote: "I'll school my way by
looking hot in my Wal-Mart clothes to school to catch a cute boy's
eye...."

Wal-Mart's site disqualifies any video with "materials that are profane,
disruptive, unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, vulgar, obscene,
hateful, or racially or ethnically-motivated, or otherwise
objectionable." That's why "pending approval" notes dominate pages
already created and content is limited to a headline, a fashion quiz and
a favorite song. Wal-Mart also plans to e-mail the parents of every
registered teen, giving them the discretion to pull a submission.

The tight controls will work against Wal-Mart's goal to make the site
more edgy and will instead cement the retailer's image as a conformist
brand, said Tim Stock, a researcher with New York-based Scenario DNA, a
research firm devoted to studying Gen Y.

"The second you try to create boundaries and draw a line around content
and put a box around content, it becomes something else. Teens aren't
searching for what a company deems relevant, but what they deem
relevant," Mr. Stock said. "You can't own it. When anyone tries to own
it too much, then it becomes a problem. That's the impression I get on
this site."

http://adage.com/article?article_id=110520

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AOL'S PLAN TO KEEP YOU AS A CUSTOMER

CONSUMERIST - In August of 2005, America Online settled with the office
of NY Attorney General Eliot Spitzer over complaints about how arduous
AOL made it to cancel service. In addition to a $1.25 million fine, AOL
agreed to streamline the cancellation process and submit all calls for
third-party review. On June 13, 2006, Vincent Ferrari posted a recording
he made of his attempt to leave America Online. It shot to national TV
and revealed AOL hadn't learned the error of its ways. For "John," the
call center employee heard on the tape, to deploy the kind of mental
warfare heard on the tape, he had to be well-trained...

A plain manila envelope arrived on our desk this week. Inside was the
eighty-one paged "Enhanced Sales Training for AOL Retention Consultants"
manual. Upon opening, the flowchart, "Guide to a World-Class Retention
Call," fell out. . .

One thing quickly becomes evident after reading the pages of tips and
tactics. Callers are viewed not as customers, but prospects. Under the
heading, "Think of Cancellation Calls as Sales Leads," the manual
reads...

"If you stop and think about it, every Member that calls in to cancel
their account is a hot lead. Most other sales jobs require you to create
your own leads, but in the Retention Queue the leads come to you! Be
eager to take more calls, get more leads and close more sales. More
leads means more selling opportunities for you and cost savings for
AOL."

In a public statement, AOL's Nicholas Graham claimed that John,
"violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything
that AOL believes to be important in customer care - chief among them
being respect for the member, and swiftly honoring their requests." If
this is true, then why is there such a complex system designed to thwart
those very requests? Brevity thrives on simplicity.

To reel you back in, AOL has a six stage system:

1. Greet and Verify
2. Discovery
3. Tailored Value
4. Right Offer
5. Resolve Concerns
6. Motivate to Activate. . .

The manual is full of more creepy delights, including:

- On "overcoming objections" i.e. customer's desire to not connect to
watered-down version of the internet, the manual advises to, "allow your
callers to talk comfortably about their concerns." By doing this you can
literally, "watch their concerns and resistance drop."

- Then there's also this doozy from black-is-white land: "The reason
that many Members are going to high speed is, because the actual
internet connection is much more stable. . . we now have the perfect
solution. . . a free modem." Ah yes, the hot-rodding superpower of
24kbps.

- Jason Watkins, an AOL Customer Care Consultant quoted in the manual
says it best, "Consumers believe everything is a commodity, i.e. where
can I buy the service for the least cost. My objective as a salesperson
is to prove otherwise."

An AOL retention consultant's job is to trick consumers into being
stupid.

http://consumerist.com/consumer/exclusive/aol-retention-manual-revealed-188005.php