HOW THE ARMY FINDS A BAND

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NOAH SHACTMAN, DANGER ROOM -  It's not completely surprising that the
Army wants to hire a band to tour its bases jn Afghanistan and Kuwait. 
The armed services get all kinds of folks, to entertain the troops. . .

First, a summary of what the Army is seeking:

"Professional Celebrity Rock Music Band, group not to exceed seven
people for tour of FOB's [forward operating bases] in Kuwait and
Afghanistan for February 4-13 2008. The band should be an active rock
band, with a music genre consisting of Southern Rock, Pop Rock,
Post-Grunge and Hard Rock. At least one member of the band should be
recognizable as a professional celebrity. Protective military equipment,
such as kevlar, body armor, eye and ear protection will be provided when
the group is traveling on military rotary or fixed wing aircraft."

Then, there's the highly-calibrated method the service will use to
evaluate these Professional Celebrity Rock Music Band applicants.  The
contract will be awarded based on "Past Performance, Contractor
Capability, Contractor's Experience, Celebrity Status of the Proposed
Artists, and Price. Contractor Capability, Experience, and Price. The
celebrity status of the proposed artist is slightly more important than
these 3 combined, and all 4 combined are slightly more important than
Price."

Good luck, rockers.  And remember:

"Any criminal conduct, unexcused tardiness or absence which prevents
timely starting of the performance(s) required hereunder, indecency or
obscenity, drunkenness, damage to Government property, failure to
discharge indebtedness to the Government, influence of narcotics or
hallucinatory drugs, threatening breach of national security, violation
of the rules and regulations of the Host Nation, Government or TFF MWR
are grounds for termination of this contract." 

No "forced on indentured child labor," and no "live animals," either. 

http://blog.wired.com/defense/2008/01/army-seeks-prof.html

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